Goats

(Mon, 17 Jan 2000)

Dear Pamela Dearest,

Warmth and kindness sound like some lovely qualities
in a lady. Not something the old Pamela would ever
take refugee in as I seem to remember. But those
were days filled with much more hair jell if you get
my stiff drift.

And I am drifting away. E.mail is loosing it's
interest more and more so I fear I won't be too near
in the near future. But feel free to write when I do
make it here it is a treat to hear from your home.

If you're feeling restless India is just around the corner, pay
us a visit. It's getting to the point of boiling hot
by 10 AM. And in a long dress. Or long trousers AND
a dress. Oh my.

I have a small flat outside the ashram now and a
few pet bats, tiny ones are making their residence
behind the screen of my little ventilation window
above my door. That explains the droppings on the
inside of my doorway in the mornings. They squeal in
delight at some time in the early twilight and my
landlady who lives next door has promised to get them
out but in India that could be a while. So I've
gotten to liking to watch them move their peculiar
little forms around and count how many seem to spring
out of one dark shadow cast from the sunlight. They
have webbed feet or are those wings? And
tiny little fingers. In another life I may have
squealed in fright but hard to be scared of such
little things when you have all sorts of human beings
all around you all day long. All sorts of deformities
and I may write a book about the teeth. No one has
seen nor imagined such teeth. Oh my.

SO I awake at 4:30 and am in the darshan lines by
5:20 or so. I walk in the dark morning to the ashram
gate in the village with wondering donkeys (mules) and
little Indian women selling flowers and street
sweepers throwing water from buckets, to clean off
yesterdays spit I would suppose. Spit and nose
drippings are freely spewn about with a swift blow.
And the westerners are all rushing with their folding
chairs that support their backs when there isn't a big
round Indian woman, that is, to lean against in the long
lines which we form every day. Twice a day. In the
afternoon the men sit in the sun while numbers are
pulled to see which lines get the privilege of going
in the first rows. We ladies have cover and when a
row picks number one the shrieks of delight are
quickly hushed by Seva Dals (service workers) who
come from all parts of India and volunteer their time
to help the ashram run. Indian woman of society with
husbands that have money and poor women together
unite and even clean the floors and some the toilets
of the hospital. I told you about that hospital. I
cried again while in there. No greater living example
of selfless service to humanity that I know.
Loveliness. Beauty manifold. Unspeakable beauty.
Untold Joy that is the identity of one they call SRI
Sathya Sai Baba or Swami as he is known.

SO don't imagine it is a love fest cause you could
walk in and see nothing going on except a man with an
afro and orange robe walking in a crowd filled with
all faces imaginable. And lots of people moving
about.
There are people here from everywhere. Even islands I
have never heard of before. But that aint too
difficult as we know.

So the village is my home and my flat is a real find
it is clean and high up so I get a breeze and two
rooms is a luxury (after all I am a queen) It costs
60 USD a month. Yes Franny it's true. I have one
little coil burner for cooking and the ashram canteen
or for 300% the price the outside restaurants. There
is so much building going on now it looks like little
Manhattan. I helped a woman from LA take some photos
for a book commissioned by Swami himself on the
building up of the village. She's a freelance
photojournalist and an art model and an astrologer and
need I say from LA. It was such a treat because I
art directed a lot of the shots and took her to the
locations (very tiny village) since the search for
the apartment made me the resident expert. But I
came to realize that I see all things here as art.
Even the poverty. There is such beauty in all of it.
Each an individual expression of the ONE infinite
beauty that makes up all of it. The colors the faces
the homes did I mention the teeth?

There is no time here. It stands still and there is
no contact with the world. Sure you don't want to
come? Really it is a complete time warp and I have no
sense of the worlds reality. It's like getting pulled
more and more into a cosmic realm that renders the
worlds disorder and disease impotent. It is leaving
the planet. And you were the first to point out that
that is the most logical place for me. Because you
see….Lady of Tripoli.

Now Be Good Do Good to quote the most photographed man
in India. Should I send you a pic. And so take care
of your woman friend and send her some big greetings
from me.

Baba has predicted that there are some difficulties
coming up in the first few months of this year. There
are a lot of changes coming. A lot of people are
feeling restless and things aren't fitting as they
used to. Because the planet is shifting. It's been
preparing a long time for these things that are
coming. And even if there is tough times it has been
forecast for ages and Baba has said that this will be a
very important year and in the end will be a very good
year in spite of early appearances. Through March he
said it will be tough. So hang on to your little
Pammy pants and don't let the tornado spin you off
your Pammy seat. Hold on tight let the winds carry
away the debris and don't worry for the future because
it is a cleansing. A lot of the old has to go to
usher in the new. And we sure need new. Those with
the weight of their devotion and the strength of their
faith will see beyond the appearance of these things.
Even in the form of catastrophes. All will be well.
Just keep the faith. How things feel now are no
indication of things to come. It all may seem bleak
but Baba has forecast that there is a shift in the
sun's rays and there will be some strange happenings
in the atmosphere (and with computers) and people so
perhaps that is some of what you are feeling.

As far a Barb sometimes success is the road of least
resistance. Long ago I remember writing that all of
life is a process of "allowing" and I am just
starting to understand this more fully. Nothing can
be forced. What we resist persists. Sometimes the
key is just letting go and surprisingly that is when
things begin to flow. And differently than we have
imagined. Allow the Universe to direct the show.

And what do I know about it, I can only speak from my
own which is that I never planned any of what I am
experiencing today and yet it unfolds by way of having
continued the process of letting go and holding strong
to faith.

I will ask Mr. Swami my little friend (5 ft tall!) to
help you. He is so lovely. As are you.

Don't forget hold on to your Pammy seat. Let the
tornados winds take away the debris even if you have
to grit your teeth. Nice teeth they are. Here you
would be a star.

All will be well in the end. Beginning without end.
The truth of You never dies. You have done all this
before so try and enjoy the show.

And get out more! A directive from the strawberry
headed Yugo who is breaking out and actually has
friends. Not counting the goats at the nearby shed.

Lots of Love and Light all over your little Pammy
head!

Om Sai Ram,
Milijana
Queen of Lithuania


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